Etiquette - Losing 'Face'

     Having 'Face' in Taiwan and other Asian countries is a very important cultural issue which any foreigner who lives in the region will quickly encounter, learn to respect and try to understand if they plan to stay very long. 'Face' is the Western equivalent of respect, prestige, status or importance.

     Example: often times a Taiwanese will purchase a membership to the most expensive health spa or gym or golf course, and never go. They simply carry the card as a status symbol to impress their peers, or to keep their friends from looking down at them if they don't have similarly snobbish status symbols.

     It is not uncommon for the Taiwanese to spend lavishly on their wedding even if they can't afford it just to keep their family from 'losing face.'  This is true of all material wealth in Taiwan and their respect and admiration of all things 'foreign'; movies, music, fashion, or other imported goods.

     It is said that if you have never had an argument with a Taiwanese he/she isn't really your true friend. This issue refers to the Taiwanese fear or avoidance of confrontation in general but ties in directly to losing 'face'. If you know a Taiwanese very well, especially those of the younger generation, and can have a good, loud, healthy argument (without punching each other's lights out) you will know you are true friends and not just superficially getting along.

     It is common for bosses at your English school to avoid confronting you directly about a problem they have with your behavior or work, which often leaves you very confused when they fire you without telling you what the problem is. When you are involved in a traffic accident, rarely will you see driver's honk ceaselessly at one another or get into fistfights (like they might in New York or other major cities in the world...) because of their distaste for direct, emotional outbursts or confrontation (except taxi drivers, but they're in their own class...)

     Learning to respect this important cultural difference, to speak privately, calmly and respectfully when dealing with difficult matters goes a long way in Taiwan. Also, showing extreme emotional swings in your behavior in public will also cause your friends or others to 'lose' face, ie: getting too physical with a girl/boyfriend in public, making too much noise, or being too pushy.